Fried Bay Scallop Sandwiches

INGREDIENTS (serves two):

1/2 pound bay scallops (washed and patted dry with a paper towel)

3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup corn flour (Maseca)
1 tsp. corn starch
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
salt and pepper
1 can of beer (a lighter, crisper variety will work excellently)
1/2 cup of oil (we used half olive and half vegetable)

1)  Combine the dry ingredients with a fork.
2)  Add the beer and the egg yolk, making a slightly runnier batter than pancake batter.
3)  Pour the batter into a Ziplock and toss the scallops in, dredging them thoroughly.
4)  Make sure your oil is hot enough for frying by testing with a drop of batter--about 350 degrees.  Fry half the scallops so as not to lower the oil temperature unduly, flipping after about 90 seconds.  When the batter is crisp and brown, remove the first batch to a paper towel-lined plate and fry remaining scallops.

Garlic Aioli:
3-5 cloves garlic
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tblsp lemon juice
1/3 cup of olive oil
1 large egg yolk
a pinch of sugar
salt and pepper

1)  Toast the cloves with skin on in a small un-oiled pan, about 3 minutes per side.
2)  Peel the garlic.
3)  Combine ingredients in a food processor or with a blender until well emulsified.

Dress your delicious sandwich with:

rolls of your choice (we used egg rolls)
fried bacon strips
arugula
lemon juice

salt and pepper
tomato
a few dashes of hot sauce to taste

And drink a Victory Prima Pils with it!

THE BEER:

Prima Pils is a delicious brew hailing from Pennsylvania and the fine folks at Victory.  We like it so much, we might have talked about it on the blog before.  If so, we don't care.  It's technically a German Pilsener, but if you're in the mood for a spicy-sweet pale ale and there are none to be had, this is an excellent choice.  A fine drinking summer beer with a citrus-rind nose and a lingering grassy finish.  You get a lot of lacy head with this brew, and a delicate bitterness at the end after the sweet pils malt fades, and the mouthfeel is excellent for what is essentially a fairly light style.  

THE LAUNCH:

I should probably be telling you all about my UK trip.  I'm not going to.  Why?

I hereby swear before Gabe and Prufrock and also Grendel, who are the people currently occupying this living room, that I will update this blog more often and as incentive, I will tell the nice friendly people all about our trip to Scotland, England, and Ireland next time I post, which will be SOON, and if I do not, may I be trapped in a room consisting only of televisions playing the early seasons of Full House and primarily episodes focusing on Michelle.

Anyway, this information might be relevant to your lives because Seven for a Secret comes out on September 17!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  *runs screaming through woods and fields of tall grasses*  I'm ridiculously excited about it, and apparently some other people are too, including STRANGERS, because Publisher's Weekly and Booklist both put little stars next to glowing reviews and made me very happy.

Because my publisher is extraordinarily nice to me, I'm going on a crazyass tour.  Join me!  I can't wait to see you.  I'll be chatting about Tim Wilde (he's up there on the gorgeous cover, seeeeee him?), but if that doesn't move you, come for the jokes and to see my blue hair and if you asked me something about Sherlock Holmes, I'd very likely answer you, because I occasionally talk about that fellow.

Here's linkage to all my appearances!

NYC Launch Party 9/18
Bouchercon!
Minneapolis Reading 9/23
Houston Reading 9/24
Scottsdale Reading 9/25
San Diego Reading 9/26
Portland Reading 9/27

And then I shall collapse into the approximate shape and consistency of a very well-cooked bucatini noodle and sleep for eight years. 

Seriously, I've been really really lucky (like, Harrison Ford cast as Han Solo lucky) to be getting some amazing press for the new book and additionally for Penguin to be giving it a great deal of support.  I really couldn't ask for better from them, they're practically requiring their entire sales department to get Seven for a Secret face tattoos.

Meanwhile, the First Draft of Horrendous Unwieldiness and Source of Inexpressible Torment to the Author Also Known As the Third Book in the Timothy Wilde Series is now 127,000 words instead of 150,000 (which is not a book but rather a coffee table).  So I'm starting up two great short story projects that were commissioned as well as Project I Cannot Yet Discuss But Which I Am Confident Will Cause the Sherlockian World Joy.  More soon (ugh, I promise, NOT A YEAR LATER BUT RATHER PERHAPS A WEEK).

See you all at the signings, I hope!

NY Times Tuna Ceviche with Yellow Wax Beans

INGREDIENTS:

for the ceviche (serves four, altered very slightly from here)

1 pound very fresh raw albacore or yellowfin, cut in 1/2 inch dice
1 shallot or small red onion, minced
1 garlic clove, minced or pressed
1 to 2 serrano or jalapeño chiles, spicy as you like it, seeded and minced
1 tbsp. capers, rinsed, drained, and minced
1 ripe medium avocado, cut in small dice
1 small ripe mango, cut in small dice
salt and fresh pepper to taste
1/3 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped cilantro or to taste
blue corn chips, to serve

1) Prepare the tuna and put it back in the fridge.
2) In a medium bowl, combine the onion, garlic, chile, capers, avocado, mango, salt, pepper and 2 tablespoons of the lime juice. Toss together gently. Add the tuna to the bowl.
3) Stir together the remaining lime juice and the olive oil. Pour over the tuna, and toss the mixture together. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
4) Cover and refrigerate for 15 minutes, stirring gently from time to time.
5) Just before serving, add the cilantro and toss together. Taste and adjust seasonings.
6) Serve with blue corn chips, because they're crunchy and delicious.

for the wax beans (this recipe's mine!)

1/2 pound yellow wax beans, trimmed as you like them
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 heaping cup of chopped fresh tomatoes (I used mini Romas from my garden, but any will work)
2 tbsp leche de coco
4 scallions, minced fine, white and green parts divided
salt and fresh black pepper

1) Heat your oil in a skillet.
2) Add yellow wax beans, white parts of the scallion, tomatoes and some salt.
3) Cook over medium heat for 8-10 minutes (the beans should be crisp-tender, and the tomatoes should be forming a glaze). If your pan gets too dry, add a little white wine or chicken stock.
4) Add the leche de coco. (I have some just sitting in my freezer, and it is super useful. Importantly, we're not using coconut milk here--no, no. We're using that sugary stuff people make pina coladas out of, but this is way better.)
5) Salt and pepper to taste. All the acidity in the tomatoes should be tempered and heightened by the leche de coco, but if you want to adjust the amount of that too and make it sweeter, go right ahead.
6) Sprinkle with green parts of the scallions.
7) Eat it up. This is so simple and delicious, I can't even tell you.

for the beer

22 oz. of Pelican Brewery's India Pelican Ale

1) Open Pelican IPA. Serve with this food.

THE BEER:

We went back to the Pacific Northwest on a very rushed but awesome-packed trip and spent two nights camping near Lincoln City on the Oregon Coast. And one of the rugged, majestic, wild, magnificent natural beauties of the Oregon Coast is its frickken awesome beer.

Sometimes it's worth it in life to take a detour. Gabe and I and Cousin Brad took one to Pacific City, in the opposite direction we were meant to be driving, to drink some beer. Now, this might have been construed as rather unforgivable on our part, but we're Red Commies deep down and picked up extra to take back to the campsite with us. It's impressive how fast people are willing to forgive you when you're handing them beer.

You're going to notice the fabulous frothy head on this brew right off the bat. Sniff it. Go on, put your nose right in there. It's like putting your head in a pine tree while smoking a marijuana cigarette. Citrus hops are present, also floral hops--basically, if you can think of a hop profile, you'll find it. Malts for this one are the silent partner, a quiet backbone leaning towards caramel. Essentially, if you are like me, and you like the idea of drinking a beer that tastes like pine resin and grapefruit juice shaken and poured from a jar, then buy a 22 of this beer INSTANTLY. Pair it with a strong, aggressive seafood, like this ceviche. Then cry when you've eaten it all up.

THE BEST TGI FRIDAY'S STORY EVER TO HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD:

I used to work at TGI Friday's.

According to Wikipedia, "Friday's has a large menu with an emphasis on alcoholic beverages."

That's true.

Everything in Office Space is also true.

Anyway, anyone who ever worked for Friday's, and we walk among you, has a Best Friday's Story. I worked there for a long-ass time, so mine are epic. They generally involved pranks, pranks played on both people we liked and people we didn't like one bit, pranks perpetrated and conceived by myself, Gabe, and Luis Nunez, pranks which included but were not limited to:

1) Meticulously put clear plastic over the tops of martini glasses and then trim the edges with a razor so the plastic is invisible. Hang martini glass with the others. Wait.

(delight and surprise index rating: 6)

2) Tell your trainee that he needs to "empty out the old hot water" at the beverage station, and see how many pitchers he fills.

(delight and surprise index rating: 3)

3) Take a clean towel, get it damp, flour it thoroughly. Fry the towel. Make sure the towel is nicely browned. Put it on ciabatta bread with mayo and lettuce and tomato and such, and garnish with fries. Give someone you don't like a "free fried chicken sandwich." Wait.

(delight and surprise index rating: 8)

4) Tie all the beer bottles in the beer fridge together with clear fishing line. Wait.

(delight and surprise index rating: 6)

5) Take all the salad and all the shelves out of the little salad fridge. Put on a coat. Hide in the salad fridge (pick the smallest person--that happened to be me, in our case). Send your manager to make you an emergency salad. Come at him like a crazed spider monkey when he opens the door. Watch him land in the dish station.

(delight and surprise index rating: 9)

Aaaannnnnyway.

I went to meet up with my friend Melinda the other day, and by the time I got there, she had made new friends. We ended up all going for dessert. These new friends happened to be very cool restaurant people who will remain anonymous because this story is made of awesome with awesome killer fire sauce on top.

(DEAR TGI FRIDAY'S: THIS IS HEARSAY. LEGEND. DON'T SUE ME. BUT I USED TO WORK THERE AND BOY DO I EVER BELIEVE IT.)

One of the gents, long ago, worked at Friday's. He came in to work one morning at around eleven to see the head line cook--big African American gent, very reliably steady and together--throwing up violently in the corner. The general manager, far from looking pissed because the guy was hung over, looked deeply concerned and was trying to comfort him. The cook, meanwhile, was inconsolable, even after his stomach was empty of breakfast.

Here's why.

It seems that he had opened a bag of flour and a rat had stowed away there. It was probably a young and small rat, not very noticeable, and the flour bag had been packaged by machine, and when the rat got hungry, it ate some flour and then took a nap. Problem solved. In any case, the cook had a rat jump out at him when he tore the top open, which would have ruined anyone's morning already.

But the rat freaked out and leaped and ran across the grill.

tsssst--tsssst--tsssst--tsssst--tsssst

The rat didn't like the grill. So the rat leaped again.

Into the fryer.

Rats, apparently, have a great deal of moisture in their bodies. So in the hot fry oil, it...'ploded, as it were. Inside-out fried crispy rat within seconds.

And a sad, sad cook for the rest of the day.

LYNDSAY: So did you guys change the fry oil?
MAN WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS: I honestly don't know.

Best. Friday's Story. EVER.

Fish Pie

INGREDIENTS:

We cheated. We used a recipe, almost exactly. I am in love with Jamie Oliver's notions of cooking. This is not original, though we made alterations.

But god, look at it.

Jamie's glorious fish pie recipe is here.

We made a few changes, of course.

1) Add leeks with the onion and carrot. Please add leeks. A big one, or two little ones. They're fan-bloody-tastic.
2) You don't really need that much heavy cream. By all means, use it if you like. But you can also sub milk (I think all we had was milk), or just reduce the amount. Trust me, with the cheddar, it's already very rich and creamy.
3) We de-glazed the onion and carrot saute with 1/2 cup of white wine. It was DELICIOUS.
4) We threw in raw shrimp, cleaned, tails off, halved lengthwise, with the raw fish.
5) The eggs are probably stellar, but we skipped them.
6) Open a bottle of Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale.
7) Enjoy together.

THE BEER:

Classic British brews are endlessly satisfying. They're balanced with the benefit of hundreds of years of expertise, and--while you can probably drink any beer with a fish pie--this one is a particularly nice choice. According to my eminently reliable sources (the generous strangers who have nothing better to do than to improve Wikipedia):

"The Old Brewery at Tadcaster was founded in 1758 and bears the name of famous local brewer Samuel Smith. It is both the oldest brewery in Yorkshire and the only surviving independent brewery in Tadcaster."

Try to think of a cooler name than Tadcaster. You'll find you can't.

Now, go get knocked up and name your infant child Tadcaster. Girl or boy, it won't matter. In either case, he or she will be welcomed as a liberator if not hailed as a god.

This beer tastes like drinking a pecan pie, in a good way. In a BEER way. It's so rich, so toasty, so malty, so balanced, so butterscotch and milk chocolate and almonds and dark fruit and warm earth, without ever being literally sweet, you want another one right away. Along with another scoop of fish pie.

THE SONG:

Gabe and I both remember snatches of this song from our childhood. I went ahead and looked it up for this post, and was shocked to discover that it was actually released the year I was born (1980, kiddos). I admit freely, very little time passed as we assembled this recipe when we were NOT singing this song by Barnes and Barnes (you'll notice that the chorus is repeated frequently--because we couldn't recall the real words, that's pretty much all we sang):

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

In the morning, laughing happy fish heads
In the evening, floating in the soup

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

Ask a fish head anything you want to
They won't answer, they cant talk

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

I took a fish head out to see a movie,
Didn't have to pay to get it in

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

They can't play baseball, they don't wear sweaters
They're not good dancers, they don't play drums

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up
Yumm!

Eat your fish pie. The end.

Salad Nicoise

EXTREME SUMMER GARDEN SERIES: MORE HERBS AND FRESH BABY LETTUCE IN ONE PLACE THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE:

INGREDIENTS (serves two; this recipe is a simplified/modified version of the one found in Cooks Illustrated from July 1st, 2002):

(hint: you're going to be boiling/steaming quite a few things, so reuse your water--hard boil your eggs and then set them in an ice bath, then boil the potatoes and put them on a board to cool, then set your steamer above the same water and steam the beans)

(for the salad)
1 8-oz. tuna steak, rubbed with salt, pepper, chili powder, and ground coriander
4 large eggs, hard boiled and quartered
5 small new red potatoes, boiled
2 tbsp. dry vermouth
1 handful trimmed green beans, steamed and then rinsed in cold water
1 small head fresh garden lettuce, leaves torn into bite-size pieces and washed thoroughly
2 small vine-ripened tomatoes, sliced and sprinkled with salt and pepper
1 very small red onion, quartered and sliced paper-thin
1/4 cup nicoise olives, chopped

(for the vinaigrette)
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup fruity extra virgin olive oil
1/2 medium shallot, minced very fine
1 tbsp. minced fresh thyme leaves
1 tbsp. minced fresh basil
2 tsp. minced fresh marjoram (you can substitute 1 tsp. fresh oregano if you like)
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tsp. honey or agave

(for the beer: 1 bottle Sam Adams Imperial White)

1) Heat a cast-iron or heavy-bottomed skillet with 1 tbsp. olive oil until the oil is very hot, nearly smoking. Sear the tuna for a little over one minute on each side and then remove to a board to slice.
2) When the boiled potatoes are cool enough to handle, toss with the vermouth, add salt and pepper, and set aside.
3) Whisk all the ingredients in the vinaigrette together and taste, adjusting seasoning.
4) Combine the green beans, lettuce, and red onion in a bowl and toss with 3/4 of the vinaigrette. Plate your greens.
5) Toss the potatoes with the remaining vinaigrette. Arrange the potatoes, sliced tomatoes, olives, and eggs around the edges of the salad and season the tomatoes and eggs with a little salt and pepper. Finish by placing the cooled tuna slices over the greens.
6) Open Sam Adams Imperial White.
7) Enjoy together.

THE BEER:
Samuel Adams--the regular version--is just really low on my personal list of beers. I think Dave Chappelle's "Samuel L. Jackson: It's My F&%$ing Beer" would probably taste better, if it existed. But we cannot overstate how successful this pairing was. Sam Imperial White is a 10.3% alcohol witbeer brewed with half wheat and half barley malts, enhanced with classic witbeer spices like coriander and orange peel, with a good dose of smooth banana sweetness on the palate. It's actually quite silky and fruity for such a high alcohol brew, which makes it deceptively drinkable, not to say dangerous. The dressing for the nicoise salad is a nice tart lemony flavor balanced by loads of herbs, and when nibbled in conjunction with the almost creamy candied orange notes of this beer, both the food and the drink taste better. Exactly what we want in a pairing. HUZZAH.

By the way, Sam Adams had been putting out more and more specialty beers in recent times, even apart from their seasonal offerings like the Cherry Wheat, for example, and if the Imperial White is any indication, they're worth a taste-gander. It would be kind of silly to call them a microbrewery--Samuel Adams is actually the largest of all American-owned beer brewers following the InBev Belgian takeover of Anheuser-Busch--but one thing Sam Adams has been doing for a long time effectively is producing drinkable high-alcohol concoctions. (Their brew Utopias was record-setting at 27% abv.)



THE GARDEN:
We're growing lettuce heads for the first time this year, and they're frigging cool. I always supposed that lettuce heads in a garden would be just like the ones that come from a store--you know, when they've grown big enough they're pulled entirely out of the ground, and then it's fare-thee-well-lettuce-plant-I-shall-dress-thee-for-thy-tomb-in-my-dark-stomach. And my garden would have a sad hole in it. I thought this because I'm an American and we don't grow our own food in these parts. Food comes from a box, if at all possible, or arrives on a plate in front of me carried by a gent in a black apron already cooked. (I love when that happens.) But you can actually pluck the biggest leaves one by one from the base of the plant and the stem will just get longer, growing and producing more greenery. Some of my lettuces are getting absurdly long, curvy stalks by now, which is not only delicious but kind of surreal and amusing to look at. My lettuces, as I milk their worth, are starting to look like Dr. Seuss plants. An unlooked-for benefit, and one I'll repeat next year.

Honey-Chili Glazed Copper River Salmon with Oyster Sauce Slaw and Herb Potatoes

INGREDIENTS (serves 4):

(for the salmon)

1 large (we used a 2-pound) fillet of wild Copper River salmon, cut into single portion-sized steaks, skin on
3 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp naam prik pow (Thai red chili sauce)
3 tbsp. honey
4 tbsp. (about 5 sprigs) minced fresh tarragon
Salt and black pepper

1) Pre-heat oven with a rack in the middle to 375 degrees. Melt the butter in a small saucepan and whisk in the chili sauce and honey over medium heat. When the sauce thickens slightly and all the ingredients are incorporated, about 4 minutes later, remove from burner.
2) Set the salmon steaks skin-side down on a oiled, foil-wrapped cookie sheet. Brush half the glaze onto the top of the steaks, sprinkling liberally with the tarragon. Season.
3) Place the cookie sheet in the oven and bake for 4 minutes. After 4 minutes, pull steaks out and brush the remaining half of the glaze over the tops. Return to oven for another 4 minutes.
4) After approximately 8 minutes total cooking time--10 for very thick steaks--remove from oven when just barely cooked through.

(for the oyster sauce slaw)

1/2 pound shaved bicolor cabbage (use one color if you prefer either all red or all green)
1 tbsp. sesame oil
1 tsp. soy sauce
1 tbsp good-quality oyster sauce
1 tsp. rice wine vinegar
1/3 cup minced chives
1 tsp. flax seeds
Salt and pepper to taste

1) Whisk all the ingredients except the cabbage, chives, and flax seeds in a small bowl, or shake in a jar. Adjust seasoning to taste.
2) Sprinkle chives and flax seeds over the shredded cabbage and then drizzle dressing over all. Toss and serve.

(for the potatoes)

1/2 pound baby red potatoes, well scrubbed
1 cup flat-leaf Italian parsley leaves, minced
1 tbsp. toasted black cumin seeds
1 clove garlic, minced or pressed
2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp. whole-grain Dijon mustard
1 tsp. rice, herb, or cider vinegar (depending on preference)
Salt and fresh cracked black pepper

1) Steam the potatoes until tender. Cut them in halves.
2) Whisk the remaining ingredients very briskly, or shake them in a salad dressing shaker or lidded jar.
3) Dress the potatoes, coating them well. Adjust salt and pepper to taste.

(for the beer)
1 bottle Hoegaarden witbeer

1) Open Hoegaarden
2) Enjoy together

THE BEER:
Most folk are already pretty well versed in the most famous of the Belgian styles, but Hoegaarden deserves a shout-out nevertheless. It's not only a great summer beer and a lovely beer with fish, it's also the most balanced and tasty of all the witbeer styles we've tried. In addition to the water, yeast, wheat, and hops, that all beers contain (one hopes) witbeers add spices--in general, coriander and dried Curacao orange peel, but occasionally other notes as well. The problem with the style as a rule is that when it's done wrong, the brew can get a touch soapy, which is rather unpleasant. Hoegaarden, however, avoid such pitfalls and just tastes like an unfiltered summer's day in Europe. Enjoy it with salmon!

Skate Wing in Rock Shrimp Caper Sauce with Blood Orange Brussels Sprouts

INGREDIENTS (serves two--we also had roasted root vegetables tossed in butter and thyme):

(for the beer)
Brooklyn Winter Ale

(for the fish)
1 skate wing (about 3/4 to 1 pound)
Poaching liquid to cover: about 3 cups of fish stock, with seafood boil herbs added. Our mix includes mustard seed, dill seed, ginger, chili pepper, bay leaf, clove, allspice, celery seed, cinnamon and black peppercorn.

1) Bring liquid to a simmer and poach the fish, about 10-12 minutes; it's done when the flesh is opaque and begins to flake apart easily.
2) Divide skate wing in halves and plate.

(for the sauce)
1 1/2 cups fish stock
splash of white wine
1 oz. capers, minced
4 springs fresh parsley, minced
3 tbsp. butter
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 lb. rock shrimp
Salt and pepper

1) Simmer and reduce the fish stock, butter, capers, and white wine to a little over half a cup of liquid.
2) Incorporate the heavy cream and return to a simmer. Season with salt and fresh pepper.
3) Add the rock shrimp and cook until just pink; when they're pink, remove from heat.
4) Stir in fresh parsley and pour over the divided skate wing.

(for the Brussels sprouts)
1 lb. baby Brussels sprouts
2 tsp. olive oil
1/4 cup brandy
Juice of 3 blood oranges, some flesh reserved
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tsp. honey
Salt and fresh black pepper

1) Pour blood orange juice, honey and balsamic vinegar into a small sauce pot and simmer for about 20 minutes to reduce into a thick, delicious glaze. Depending on your balsamic, you may need to add more sweetener, as balsamics vary widely.
2) When the glaze is almost ready, heat the oil in a skillet over medium-high and add Brussels sprouts. As the outer leaves brown, add the brandy and scrape the bits off the pan. They'll be done in about 5-7 minutes--taste them to prevent overcooking.
3) Season to taste and toss with the glaze.
4) Open Brooklyn Winter Ale
5) Serve together

THE BEER:
We went with the Brooklyn Winter Ale for this one--can't beat $7.99 for a sixer at Whole Foods, at least not in New York. Even though Garrett Oliver is ridiculously dismissive and tends to "get his tweed undies in a twist," (source of quote shall remain nameless for his protection) over beers that are not to his liking, e.g. hoppy west-coast beers, he can still brew a mean beverage.

Okay, we weren't too wowed by this one on its own, but it did do a wonderful thing when combined with the dinner: it made them both better. The malt-forward sweetness and laid back hops played well on the tongue with the sweetness from the rock shrimp, roasted veg and the glaze of the brussel sprouts. I like me a little hops with something bold like brussel sprouts, and there was just enough bitter presence to hold up on that end as well.